illusion

i lie
to be with you
how can i call it love? all your pain
is mine. i want to heal but
i'm too wounded
for the truth that healing takes

your mind is unsure
which names are true
if i tell you, it might save you
or just bring pain
to me, to you
isolation
separation
loss

its lose-lose in illusions realm
i fight for courage
while fear slides beneath
steady, smooth, veiled and deceiving
intention turns to lies
alchemy of guilt
and so my own mind spins
ragged at the torn edge of shared worlds

purifying dreams, sweet and clear in the night
skin and skin, peaceful, warm
how is that real
then
and later, this?
neptune is too strong here
sirens have pulled me before

some say a person can die
and not even notice
did i die on the sea rocks?
did black siren lullabyes distract me
as the blood ran out to sea?
i feel no power of earth and blood
to beat a heart

how can i heal you,
or you me?
all the boats are gone
i feel a drowning

in deep, deep blue